We are the masters of sabotage! We know it but just don’t admit it.
For many of us it’s a case of ‘Who needs enemies when we have friends like us?’.
The truth is that most of the time what stops us from being who we want to be and doing what we want to do is – ourselves!
We think if we read just one more book, one more article, listen to one more podcast, documentary, webinar or YouTube video, we will somehow find the answer to our problems – whatever they are.
We are the instigators of our own procastination.
We get in our own way all the time. We sabotage our own efforts and we undermine ourselves at every turn.
We create endless obstacles and excuses. We blame circumstance, we blame others, we blame the weather and we blame our lot in life.
Add to that the ‘fear of the new’ most of us suffer from and we have a recipe for ‘life paralysis’ and bad decisions.
In the end it is down to us to find where our real talents lie and have the courage to pursue them!
Remember, success has little to do with education; it’s about self-discipline, a willingness to learn, the ability to keep going when things get tough, stubborn determination and passion.
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” – Lao Tzu
What is stopping us?
We want it but we want it easy
We can all find excuses for taking the easy path in life but that’s not where the magic happens, and what is life without a little magic?
We want the prize without the pain
“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”
The author Haruki Murakami explains it like this: “Say you’re running and you think, ‘Man, this hurts, I can’t take it anymore. The ‘hurt’ part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can stand anymore is up to the runner himself.”
Many of us seem to relish dwelling on the negative; we waste time, energy and sleep thinking about everything that could go wrong or even will go wrong. Even in the worst situation remember most things are just a matter of perspective! Change your perspective and things will often look very different.
Embrace the lows and recognise them for what they are, learn from them and treat them as a gift, not a punishment.
We are telling ourselves the wrong story
Recognise how much you have achieved already and the obstacles you have overcome. Who you are is already enough.
We let other peoples limitations limit us
People will try to discourage you. Don’t let them. Believe in yourself and don’t worry about what other people think.
We avoid the truth
If we avoid the facing up to things we can pretend they are not happening.
But let’s face it, if we don’t face it we can’t fix it!
The problem is most of us don’t listen to what we need to hear. Why?
Because we have too much invested in where we are now. Change is not easy and the truth can hurt. Growth is seldom painless.
This is equally true in both business and life. If we don’t own up to it and look it in the face we will have to look at it again, tomorrow and the day after that.
Get out of your own way and future will open up to you.
We don’t believe we are talented
I’ve talked to many people over the years who have had no idea what they were good at. They believed they had no discernible talents at all when, in fact, they all have infinite gifts; they just hadn’t yet discovered them.
To find these talents all that’s needed is a little curiosity, some courage and the desire to break free from the limitations and expectations put on us by others and ourselves.
Ask yourself, ‘What am I really passionate about, what interests me?’, and you will find that within lies a bright and fulfilling future…if you’re brave enough to give it a chance.
We dwell on our weaknesses
When we do compare ourselves with the success stories, it is too easy to forget how they claimed that success: the time it took, the mistakes and setbacks they encountered, as well as the sheer commitment and hard work they put in to get there.
Every iconic successful entrepreneur, artist, actor, musician or writer has questioned themselves on those bleak, dark days when self-doubt, fear and uncertainty has raised its ugly head.
The difference between them and most other people is that they kept on going, they persevered and refused to give up.
We constantly compare ourselves to others
Many of us spend too much time comparing ourselves to others. We are constantly judging ourselves against our neighbours, competitors, bosses, or siblings.
It’s destructive, de-habilitating and completely counter-productive.
It serves no purpose other than to feed our insecurities.
It can destroy our dream of being who we want to be before we even begin.
- We let money rule our lives
Be kind to yourself
You can’t expect yourself to know everything on day one.
When the going gets tough we all have self-doubts and our confidence is put to the test. There is a wonderful quote by Mufasa, in the Disney movie The Lion King that goes:
“Look inside yourself. You are more than what you have become”
We are much stronger, tougher and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.
Don’t stop YOU from stopping YOU.